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frankly my dear, i don't give a damn.
Thursday, March 3, 2005 sometimes a person's whole wordview is changed by a single event, or an epiphany of sorts. so goodbye to rose-tinted glasses. i've decided that i have nothing i want to say anymore. my day only lasts 12 hours while everyone else has 24. i don't think i'll be missed so farewell everyone, it was fun while it lasted. i may write again someday but till then... Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Monday, February 14, 2005 it's 1 hour 24 mins past my birthday already but i don't think i've done the customary yet, so what the heck - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! (and also to zihe, robbie williams, and jesseca liu, just to show i'm not all that self-centred.) so in my last entry i said i didn't have any plans for my birthday that included mass involvement, but thanks to a very very very special someone, i guess things didn't turn out that way after all :) no need for details right, since almost everyone that mattered to me was there! but i swear i had a helluva surprise to see my lovely friends under a tree beside a creepy house along everitt road leading to jia and mei's house where everyone else was! i know it's kinda cheesy to name the whole guest list, but i was soooo happy that i really must thank everyone who made time to come... to the friends under the tree beside the creepy house along everitt road: sharie, ma, jin, denyse, kunies, genev, val, chong, and chia. and to the people in the house, i think you guys know who you are since we hang out like every weekend? jia, mei, k.o., des, eli, jude, kelly, estee, panda, james, nick etc... you get the picture. :) jia and mei get extra kisses and love from me cos they were so generous and were such gracious hostesses *muaks muaks* and the food was damn shiok, so spicy and mei, i didn't get a tummy ache from the mee siam. thanks for the presents guys! and for the ice cream cakes that melted at an exponential rate. i am sad that i didn't get to eat the strawberry cheesecake one that jess kenna wheel clamped and fined 0 getting :( and to the one who made everything happen, i love you :) and i rewarded him well too, by treating him to sunday brunch at lawry's the prime rib the next morning (which wouldn't have been possible if my dear huiyi didn't offer me the 1-for-1 voucher, thank you so much babe! *hugs*) ok so i lied, that was probably the only thing i had planned for my birthday, the brunch. dump so many friends from different parts of your life together and it becomes inevitable that someone is bound to kinda know someone else, in the previous generation, if not the present. so it was damn funny when kelly sat down beside jin and denyse talking to them like old friends and they didn't know who she was, until they realised that they WERE old friends and go way back to primary school some more! they went to kelly's house to play games before. and how genev told her parents to pick her up from jia and mei's address and they said that was the house of their good friends'! and apparently the goh and the tay family have been on holiday together, and genev and the twins "lied on the same beach" (as quoted from mei.) isn't singapore small? so we played blackjack the whole night, and thanks to kind sweet bankers like james and jude, most of the girls were either up or broke even (except jia, but don't be sad!) amazing how many 21s were dealt out to the pretty girls, damn smooth la james. with 9 girls and 4 guys at the table, we whined our way through our bombs and losses. it was great fun cos i won money! and just when i've resigned myself to the fate of having no gambling luck. it was a great 21st for me, thanks everyone :) and to those who couldn't turn up, you were sorely missed but thanks for the smses and (missed) calls! here's some love love love all around. my dear sha, this entry IS for me right? hehe, thanks babe: Sunday, February 13, 2005 sha and ma, i think only you two will know what i'm talking about here, but thanks a hell lot for helping me get through chinese new year... for being great listeners, for coffees and emotional unburdening, for caring and making sure i'm alright, and always being there. love is probably the most overstated word in this entry, but i can never use it enough on you two :) i love you girls! it feels strange how i'm so much stronger this time, i really thought my heart had died. the numbness was so real and so overwhelming... please help me pick up the pieces again. Monday, February 7, 2005 just had reunion dinner with my maternal side of the family - yes, earlier than usual but it's always been that way. the actual eve of chinese new year has always been reserved for dinner with my paternal side of the family, but since my grandmother passed away barely three months ago, i guess we won't have one. we won't meet up with the relatives on that side either, because my mom doesn't like them. it's pretty sad really, 2 special days down to none. and i really like my cousins too. the most ironic thing is, the relatives on my paternal side all live in yishun (three families in my block, one behind my block, and one down the street) and yet, for most of the year, we're kinda like strangers. as if we never had a childhood together, which we did, and really enjoyed. chinese new year is making me really miss my grandma; she'd be sad to know that the family she'd brought up was disintegrating right after her death. :( i miss you grandma... i really do. the fact that you won't be around this year, and the years after. on another note (amusing in the light of such depressing reminiscing), everyone asked why jess wasn't at the reunion dinner today, cos he's been a guest there the past 3 years. my brother brought his girlfriend, and my cousin her boyfriend, so i felt very single. so my grandma and my 3 aunts crowded around me and asked me when i was going to get married, since jess was leaving for aussie in june already. my grandma said this will ensure our continued commitment to each other or else who knew who'd be unfaithful to who, and that an engagement will do for now at least. my aunt also said that i can go further my studies in aussie, or get a job there, and then bring my whole family over, and my mom even said that she'd love to retire in aussie. the other aunt said that everyone would be very happy if i got married, like now. with all these hopes and familial aspirations hitting me like mortar bricks, i was flabbergasted. mouth agape but speechless. it's totally absurd! ridiculous really, and preposterous. i'm not even 21 yet! (but i will be in SIX days *hint hint*) i mean, of course i've thought about marriage, and about babies, and houses, and honeymoons. but just not the groom part. maybe i'm just intrigued by an idealistic vision of marriage, and not more. i also think about travelling everywhere, being on forbes' list of most powerful women, and also screwing jude law. and i'm so young! speaking of birthdays. thanks to brilliant people who first conceptualized certain 'special' days and made christmas equivalent to parties and gifts, new year's eve equivalent to parties and drinking, and valentine's day equivalent to dates, (obscenely overpriced) gifts and flowers, and public displays of affection, we have people who feel like aliens from outer space when they receive (or buy) no christmas gifts, have no new year's eve parties to attend, or have no dates on valentine's day. my point is... expectations! expectations! so much meaning is attached to these supposedly special days, and people end up expecting so much from them. but my real point is... the 21st birthday is one of those special days. imbued with meanings of freedom and attainment of adulthood, it's like one of those milestones in your life. together with the 13th and 18th birthday, and also the 16th birthday if you're really geared up to have legal sex (finally!) so people have been asking what i'm doing for my 21st birthday. i don't know, really. i've never done anything for my birthday, like plan a party or whatever. my mom planned those when i was a kid. i like birthdays actually, but birthdays have been disappointing, so i've never expected anything since. and i never plan parties because firstly i am too broke, and secondly, it just makes me feel really self-centred! (although i understand that it's probably the only day of the year i am entitled to be.) my aunt asked my mom whether they should organize something, but my mom said no need cos then all the adults would have to give me angbaos and that's not really nice. so i'm expecting nothing much of a birthday. being 21 doesn't give you that much more privileges right? except being officially able to watch R(A) movies which we have been downloading since way before that anyway. my mom always tells me i can do whatever i want when i'm 21, i can not come home at all and she won't care, but i know she's lying lah. things won't be that much different. so stop asking me what i'll be doing, because i don't know! Tuesday, February 1, 2005 for the first time in the history of my life in nus, i am bestowed (or should i say cursed) with a five day week. no more mid-week breathers (wednesday off in first sem) or long weekends (fridays off in second and third sems) :( i am officially sad. and not to mention, i will be a very very tired girl. i am always tired. i think there is an illness for this. always being tired and lethargic. the muscle disintegration illness? i forgot what it's called. here are the modules i'm taking:
SC3214 Sociology of Life Course and Ageing and here's my shitty timetable for this sem as promised. line up to date me for lunch ok? (huiyi babe, your timetable is atrocious! i can't believe you have back to back days two days in a row, and you still have a five day week.) monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday so right, wednesdays and fridays suck big time. i usually have no lunch mate on mondays due to timetable clashes. wednesdays are alright actually cos i haven't taken a module with salt, hil, and viv for a long time, so hello again girls! but fridays, oh boy fridays. if the earth was flat, yishun would be hanging precariously on the edge of that very flat earth. to make a 9 am tutorial, i'd have to wake up at 6.30 (cue *audience moaning*) it's a bloody friday dude. if the class was at 1 pm or even 2 pm, it's alright. but it's at 9! i either bum around in school or go home after class. once i go home, i'd never wanna leave the house. so sigh. i think every friday will be mac's breakfast with salt, and hil and viv too if they're awake. as long as we have burger king for a change now and then... i will not be saying TGIF for a long long long long time man. so date me on fridays, friends! after 10 am, i am free! and very very bored. |
